Staci finds there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get her baps out to her satisfaction.

In a week where Rupert Murdoch announces the re-launch of the News Of The World, Rhian concedes that the world has wasted a great deal of time.

Fairytale test-tube beefburgers? Sabine couldn’t make it up.

Emily criticises Mr Osborne’s fiscal policy without offering any real alternatives. Perhaps she should have paid as much attention to her economics class as she did during philosophy?

Lacey’s feeling particularly Zen today as she proves once again that a philosophising flamper is a happy flamper.

Great to see that Rosie’s back with her head in the philosophy textbooks after a run of decidedly lowbrow quotes from the Flampers. I’ll defend to the death her right to quote Voltaire!

Kelly uses EB White to back up her pro-motorist views. Interesting fact: EB White wrote Stuart Little and Charlotte’s Web.

Poppy likes her prime ministers lubricated.

Nice to see that Amii doesn’t spend all her time thinking about quantum physicists and obscure philosophers, but it seems that she’s got so excited talking about clothes that she’s forgotten to put any on! I hope she doesn’t catch a cold.

Rhian thinks you should shut the fuck up, pay your taxes and bloody well like it. Also, look at how jiggly they are, isn’t that silly? Now don’t you feel better? Well done you clever thing, now go and sit down and watch your Sky TV and don’t get up again until it’s time to buy things.